Today I've been watching videos of doctors who started in Harvard Medical School in 1987 and were videotaped throughout their careers as part of a PBS documentary called "Doctors' Diaries." The link for the videos is here: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/doctors/lives.html

The videos include clips of the doctors when they were in medical school, internship, and residency, and also current interviews with them where they discuss their lives and reminisce about the past. Surprisingly, the stories of these physicians have impacted me rather strongly. They are not only interesting but also emotionally moving. It's comical to see how these doctors, who are now experienced and astute, were like deer caught in headlights during their schooling and internship. While I was watching, I found myself very much looking forward to being in school and in the medical profession, but at the same time terrified at the prospect.

I believe it's great to be prepared for any situation, as much as is possible. When this is an impossibility, you have to live with it and roll with the punches. With medical school, I am every day becoming more and more aware that it will be an incredible emotional roller coaster. Each day will have high highs and low lows. At this point I have not yet learned how to deal well with criticism, and a tough skin is just something I'll be forced to acquire. I realize that.

Another thing that I'll have to be prepared for, and I've known this for a while, is that any romantic relationship will be difficult. Not impossible or unrealistic by any means, but certainly not easy. Medical school may not be too bad, but internship and residency will be grueling. How does one go about working 80-hours a week, doing the best work they can possibly do, and then coming home to his or her spouse and being anything but an exhausted grouch. At this point, this is beyond me. It struck me that nearly every single doctor in those videos has been divorced, several of them multiple times. All I know is, if I'm married, I don't want to put my work ahead of my family or my relationship with God.